Hey there! Shalom. Bonjour. Hola.
I’ve decided to take pictures of the interesting street art I come across in NYC this summer. Some of the ones I find, i’m sure you’ve seen a million times via instagram or just like, idk, life. But I want to document the true beauty of New York. The longer I spend here, the more places I find disgusting (I’m looking at you who didn’t clean up after your dog–lady), but also the more places I find beautiful.
Any who, I did not start this post with the intention of explaining how to find the beauty in the ugly. But I think that’s where life wants to take me these days. I’ve had quite a few downs mixed with even more ups over the last year. Obviously, the ups aren’t the things that we fixate on in times of distress.
I know you know what I’m about to talk about… Diabetes. I feel like a broken record–like Lindsey Lohan in Mean Girls when she can’t stop talking about the “plastics.” It’s word vomit. Don’t hate me, hate the disease.
Okay, now that i’ve acknowledged my week facade of togetherness, let’s get down to the honesty bit. I am so over health. Everyone talks about the annoying aspects of diabetes–finger pricks, shots, insulin pumps that just won’t stay on (UGH thanks omnipod, I really do appreciate you, but clearly your product doesn’t appreciate me quite as much considering it can’t wait to practically jump off of my skin at the first chance of freedom). But, with diabetes comes other lesser known complications. Let’s take my sudden need to wear my glasses more frequently, or the fact that I find myself having some sort of terrible cold every month, or even more the clear lack of immune system barely holding my body together (I’m being a tad dramatic–no need to panic).
In fact, my immune system is one of the key reasons behind the development of my type 1 diabetes. Type 1 is caused by an auto-immune disease, one that causes antibodies (usually good) to attack the pancreas (also allegedly good, except mine that decided to just quit not even hopefully a quarter of the way through my life. I mean come on. You have one of the most important jobs. You can’t just j-chill in my gut like a kid refusing to do its chores. UGH).
My ever-growing anger issues aside, diabetes, or as my friends affectionately call it, “the big D” truly–for lack of a better term–sucks. I mean things just keep happening. I think i’m overdue for some amazing karma. Wait, am I even allowed to say that? Is that bad karma? Clearly I can’t tell the difference anymore.
I’ve learned so much over this past year, and maybe that’s the beauty in the ugliness. The beauty in the breakdown, because lord knows I had quite the breakdown yesterday. But honestly, nothing felt healthier than acknowledging the fact that sometimes we only have ourselves to count on (not talking to you pancreas). Maybe it’s ok to cry when life becomes overwhelming.
Life is like (a box of chocolates… jk that’s not where I’m going with this analogy) a Nicholas Sparks book (minus the Channing Tatum, Zach Efron, James Marsden, and my personal favorite Ryan Goslings of the world), after the storm comes the sun, after the emotional upheaval (hint: tears) comes a big smile. So, I’m just going to keep on keeping on, until the tears dry and that smile arrives, because life is hard, but no one said it would be easy. And to be quite frank, I’m not sure it would be entertaining if the ugliness didn’t creep in every once in a while. So let’s redefine beauty and let some of that ugliness force us to appreciate the gorgeous life we’re given.
In the words of the aforementioned Einstein, Love is the Answer.
And that my friends is the most honest post I think I’ve ever written. In the words of Taylor Swift, but originally my father, Shake it Off.
Thanks for letting me write it out.
Look for another post sometime real soon! (Featuring friends that come/came to visit the big Citayyyyy)
Stay classy and don’t forget that sunscreen you beautiful people!